Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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