I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
