WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
