You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
