She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
