We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
