Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
