My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
