"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just cut my nipple shaving
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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