And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
