Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize