Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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