I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
