Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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