i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
