you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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