Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
