I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
