just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
