I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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