Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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