This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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