well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
