Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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