she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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