The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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