He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
