At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
