Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
