maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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