Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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