is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
