My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize