I heard we made out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
