a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize