Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
