I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
