Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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