So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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