just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
