at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
