they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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