U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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