so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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