i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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