I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
