Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
