She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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