im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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