Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
