So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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