can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
