Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize