lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
