Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
