Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
