Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
