i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize