Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i will never coherently bang her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
