I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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