They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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