i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
