I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
