i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
