I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
