Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
