he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
