sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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