i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
