My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
