it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
