somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
