I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
