lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
