Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
