so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
