i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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